You are going to witness a shift of focus to cookies over cakes. Why? I cannot and do not want to eat all of this mess I am cooking. If I did eat it, I’d have to throw up about five times a day. Best thing to do is take the stuff to work.

Based on past experience I know that 1) cookies travel way better than cakes, 2) presenting the food in a bite-sized format makes it easy for folks to grab a piece, 3) one out of five people at work can’t make the effort to cut a goddamn cake correctly, and that part really irritates me.

See, at work my nice yellow-frosted cake starts out looking something like this:

Then, after a few people have at it, it looks something like this:

You want to know why that happens? Because some people refuse to cut from the center of the cake out to the edge. You want a small piece? Cut a *thin* *slice.* Put your the end of your knife in the center, then press down. Don’t come by and hack off a goddamn hunk of the corner. It fucks everything up.

I imagine the perpetrator is probably in the same lot as those who drink all the coffee and don’t start a new pot. Pisses me off. No cake for you!